BONK!

So apparently, the usual easily-baiteds are all pissed off about Matt Taibbi's latest piece in the New York Press, "The 52 Funniest Things About The Upcoming Death Of The Pope."

The NYP isn't half as bad-ass as it thinks it is (they lose a lot of points, week in and week out, for publishing Russ Smith's ridiculous, thoughtless column), but this piece is actually pretty funny. Some of the list items, the ones pretending to mimic the Pope's postmortem, in-coffin thoughts, remind me of Beckett's The Unnamable. Which is pretty goddamn funny itself.

The thing of it is, the very gratuitousness of it is what makes it hilarious. There's absolutely no reason in the world to attack the Pope. I mean, sure, the Catholic Church's reprehensible stances on contraception and homosexuality and its coddling of kiddy-raping priests are plenty fucked up. But there's no point because no one in power gives a shit. Nobody's gonna really take on the Church, because these batshit crazy kiddy-raping, brainwashing retrograde fuckers have too much power - and most people have already been zombiefied into believing in the Invisible Bully In The Sky, and don't wanna risk pissing off said bully's Earthly Messenger or his minions.

And speaking of pissed-off minions, the statement from Crazy Bill Donohue of the Catholic League that I linked to above is surprisingly moderate, for him. I guess when he's alone in his office, typing, he's more rational than when the lights of a TV crew shine in his eyes. Whenever he's on Scarborough Country talking to Squinty McDeadInternUnderMyDesk about Hollywood's anal-sex-loving Jews or whatever, he's much more foam-flecked and hilarious. This, from the first blog that came up when I Googled "Taibbi Pope," is much more what I expect from Catholics in 2005.

I think Donohue and Taibbi should have a sock fight - but Donohue's sock should be filled with flour and sawdust, and Taibbi's should be filled with quarters.