PICK HIT

Robert Christgau has been given the shove by the Village Voice. Weep, weep. Death of music journalism, blah blah blah. Too bad for whoever inherits his desk, says I.

MORE IN SORROW THAN IN ANGER

My review of Lamb of God's Sacrament is running in Cleveland this week. So's my write-up on this year's Relapse Contamination Tour.

BACK IN BUSINESS

I haven't posted anything on paperthinwalls.com in a couple of weeks, but today you can read my take on Teeth Of The Hydra, then listen to the MP3 and decide whether or not I'm completely full of shit. (About the band, or my doom-vs.-sludge theorizing; your call.)

BACK TO BUSINESS

Four-day weekends are nice.

Wednesday morning start-the-work-week random 11:

Pig Destroyer, "Verminess"
Agoraphobic Nosebleed, "Hammer Fight"
Arve Henriksen, "Paralell Action"
Bad Brains, "F.V.K."
Cream, "Sleepy Time Time (Live)"
Thelonious Monk, "Japanese Folk Song (Kojo No Tsuki)"
DJ Krush, "Day's End Feat. Kazufumi Kodama (After-Dusk Mix)"
Early Man, "Brain Sick"
Clifford Thornton New Art Ensemble, "15th Floor"
Alice In Chains, "We Die Young"
Miles Davis, "My Funny Valentine"

HOW TO PISS OFF NERDS, BY F.F. COPPOLA

I bought the fancy new double-disc version of Apocalypse Now, which is one of my top five movies ever by anybody (the others, today anyhow: Repo Man, Blade Runner director's cut, The Big Red One posthumous long version, and Road House tied with Day Of The Dead) yesterday. I am disappointed and angered by it, for one very big reason.

The set features both versions of the movie - the 1979 original, a/k/a/ "the good version," and Apocalypse Now Redux, a/k/a "what the fuck were you smoking? Seriously...the French plantation scene? Dude..." - along with an assload of bonus features, including full-length director's commentary tracks for both versions, a lost scene that's extremely damn creepy and dream-haunting, a bunch of other extended scenes in very rough form that wouldn't have added much of anything to either version of the flick and in some cases are pretty inexplicably weird, and a fistful of behind-the-scenes stuff about the sound mixing and the editing and all the stuff only hardcore geeks like me care about, but hardcore geeks like me care about those things a great deal indeed. (Side note: wasn't it great how I used "fistful" and "assload" in the same sentence right there? I know that's the kind of thing that keeps you folks coming back.)

Here's the problem, though: rather than do the sensible thing and put Apocalypse Now on Disc 1 and Apocalypse Now Reallysux on Disc 2, along with however many bonus features could fit, or putting both movies on Disc 1 and all the bonus features on Disc 2, they (and by "they," I mean Francis Ford Coppola, since he had to have signed off on this thing) put "Act 1" of each movie on Disc 1, and "Act 2" on Disc 2.

According to Coppola's logic, Act 1 runs from the beginning through the massacre of the family on the sampan, and Act 2 picks up right after that - basically, Do Lung Bridge to the end.

So now I have to keep my bare-bones AN DVD for when I feel like watching the movie for itself (have I made my disdain for the re-edit clear enough yet?), and I can pull out the extra nerdy party pack when I feel like listening to Marlon Brando read "The Hollow Men" for 15 minutes. Damn you, Coppola!

REVIEWS FROM RELIX

These are from the September/October 06 issue with Widespread Panic (ugly old white dudes - whatta surprise!) on the cover.

PAUL MOTIAN TRIO 2000 + ONE
On Broadway Vol. 4
Winter & Winter
This is one of the more powerhouse lineups in current jazz. Drummer Paul Motian has played on hundreds of albums, as a leader and a sideman. Bassist Larry Grenadier boasts a similarly impressive track record, including sessions with John Scofield, Pat Metheny and pianist Brad Mehldau. And when saxophonist Chris Potter isn't touring and recording with Steely Dan, he's one of the brightest stars in current post-bop. So for a threesome like this to invite guests on board is a pretty ringing endorsement. Vocalist Rebecca Martin and pianist Masabumi Kikuchi don't let their hosts down. Cruising smoothly (no, that doesn't make this a "smooth jazz" album) through a program of standards, the band's interactions are in-the-moment but impeccably conceptualized, making this one of the more immediately and genuinely pleasurable jazz discs of 2006 thus far.

LOVE TRIO FEATURING U-ROY
In Dub
Nublu
Listeners who didn't even know U-Roy was still alive will be thrilled to hear his rich, full voice dominating these tracks. Love Trio is led by keyboardist and saxophonist Ilhan Ersahin, whose solos float above danceable but subtle grooves throughout the disc. U-Roy is backed by female voices, crooning the choruses and adding to the lovers rock vibe. This is digital dub, closer in spirit to the Orb, Leftfield or Bill Lasswell than the raw, subversive sonic anarchy of Lee Perry or King Tubby. Some tracks, like "Flight In Dub," are more upbeat, more clearly aimed at the dancefloor, than the majority. And the jazz background of the trio's prime movers—Ersahin, bassist Jesse Murphy and drummer Kenny Wollesen—is impossible to discern from the steady grooves being played here. There's an overriding smoothness, though, that makes the album ideal for relaxed summertime listening.

WHAT ABOUT ACCEPT?

Article on gay metal performers in Decibel, which is apparently the new Katherine/Alicia-era Metal Maniacs now. (I've interviewed two of the people quoted in the article and had no idea either of 'em was gay. I guess that's what I get for being mostly interested in how the records sound.)

HURTING AMERICA ONCE AGAIN

The great things about this story, in order:

1. Tucker Carlson will be on Dancing With The Stars next season, thus finally proving that cable political pundits are just celebrities, and deserve no greater respect than the supermodels and movie stars they ridicule for speaking out on issues of the day.

2. This news inspired a Canadian (!) newspaper columnist to call Carlson a douchebag, in print.

BIG IN JAPAN, BUT WHAT ABOUT DENVER?

My piece on Dir en Grey, from Westword.

Also, one more piece from PTW (read, download): Marcos Fernandes/Hans Fjellestad/Haco/Jakob Riis, "Awake"

BUSY BUSY BUSY

Two pieces in this week's Cleveland Scene: The Rollins Band and the Strhess Tour.

WHERE'S THE REST OF ME?

Here's something you don't hear every day: a 1904 recording of "Ave Maria" by Alessandro Moreschi, a castrato. You'd think there would be novelty value to this and not much more, but in fact the guy's voice is quite eerie and fascinating.

LOOK, EVERYBODY! FREE METAL!

You should be checking paperthinwalls every Wednesday, because that's when the metal reviews go up, and I'm writing my share of 'em. Here's the latest review-plus-MP3:

Terrorizer, "Crematorium"

WHOOSH! ROAR! CRACKLE! ARE YOU IMPRESSED YET?

I admit it; I've never gotten the whole "power electronics" thing. Here's my second review for paperthinwalls; Japanese Torture Comedy Hour.

LET'S TALK JIHAD

My review of the new Slayer album is here.

VELOCIPEDE REPAIRMAN AT YOUR SERVICE

I got my audio engineer's certificate in today's mail. So now all I need to do is find some bands and a studio foolish enough to let me behind the board, and voila! I'll be one of those hubristic asshole critics who puts his money where his mouth is and tries to make the record he thinks everyone else should have been making all along. (See Landau, Jon; Marsh, Dave; Albini, Steve.) With luck, mine will sound a lot like Sir Lord Baltimore's Kingdom Come or Grand Funk Railroad's Closer To Home. Exciting, no?

ONE MORE TURN FOR THE CRANK

This week in the Cleveland Scene, I bitch that the music DVDs I get for free in the mail are too damn long, and you should be out at a real show, not watching one on TV anyway, suckers!

I also hyped two of the six bands discussed in this piece. See if you can guess which ones.

BEST REGGAE RECORD I'VE GOTTEN ALL DAY

V/A, Version Dread. The latest volume in Heartbeat/Rounder's seemingly endless series of Studio One reissues and compilations. Eighteen dub cuts from 1966-82. Lots of Sound Dimension, some Soul Vendors, some Brentford Rockers...you know the drill. Get yourself one.

LET'S MAKE LOTS OF MONEY

So there's this new website, paperthinwalls, that's paying an assload of money (relatively speaking; it's hard out here for a freelancer) for reviews of individual songs, which you can download before, after or while you read the reviews, and fools that they are, they've asked me to contribute. Their business plan is utterly opaque to me, but as long as there's money to be given away, I'll take my share and more. Here's my first review for 'em - Comets On Fire's "Dogwood Rust".