HE DON'T KNOW ME VERY WELL, DO HE?

[Below is the full text of a press release I received in today's mail.]

ARTIST: Shaw
ALBUM: Pretending We're Not Animals
LABEL: Swordfish Records
RELEASE DATE: February 1st, 2010 on CD (eco-conscious packaging!) and digitally via iTunes
IN A SENTENCE: Simple, poignant pop songs dipped in molten silver and buried in the sand for weeks before being played back to your ears through an old Russian submarine.
IN PARAGRAPHS: Shaw is the quintessential self-produced art pop musician, a do-it-yourself soundchemist, exploring what is possible with limited resources and unlimited creativity. After producing a string of bands in his basement, Shaw set about conceiving an album of his own design. He locked the doors, shut the blinds and didn't leave his lo-fi laboratory until a perfect brainchild lay whole and conscious before him, with wolf-white teeth and a heart-machine pumping blood in rhythmic dances. Pretending We're Not Animals, a coy nod to modern man's schizophrenic self-image, was born.
If Pretending We're Not Animals was a building it would be an old Victorian house in San Francisco, a post-Earthquake dwelling with an expansive view of Golden Gate Park and the Pacific Ocean. It would present a wine red facade over old, vulnerable brick. The foundation of washed synths and delayed guitars would be poured upon pillars made of tiny bits of broken drum machines. The mantle would be decorated with self-portraits of artists the landlord once knew and loved. Thick carpets would sprawl over old growth redwood, basking in the warmth of the hearth. Some doors would only be large enough for cats and dogs, but otherwise it would be a fine place for an intimate party or quiet night re-reading a favorite book, far away from the near threat of December's frigid air.
MIGHT BE ENJOYED BY LISTENERS OF: MGMT, Animal Collective, The Faint or The Handsome Furs
ON THE WEB: www.shawmakesmusic.com and www.swordfishrecords.com

[It almost makes me wonder if I was sent this - and the envelope was hand-addressed, making me think I was chosen with slightly more care than some publicists take - so that I'd wind up publicizing it in exactly this manner...once I stopped laughing. Which I haven't yet.]