DOUCHEBAGS, MEET YOUR KING

So I got the new Burning Brides album, Hang Love, in the mail (I'll be writing it up for Alternative Press). As 90s-besotted post-grunge throb-rock goes, it's not that bad. At its absolute best, it reminds me of the last Melvins record, without the gang vocals and the double drumming, of course. The problem isn't the music; it's the unbelievably douchebaggy quotes from frontman Dimitri Coats in the press pack. Ready? Brace yourself for the awesomeness, if you dare!

"We see ourselves as Robin Hoods of rock and roll."

"...our band is all about opposites. Even the name Burning Brides and the way we sound; there's a fine line between beauty and darkness."

"We [Coats and bassist/wife Melanie] started smoking pot and she'd come over to my apartment and listen to records. I'd turn her on to Sonic Youth, the Beach Boys or the cool Black Sabbath records. She was already into the Velvet Underground and the Beatles."

"I'd been playing guitar since the seventh grade, but it never occurred to me to try to write a song or sing. Melanie encouraged me to start writing and I taught her how to play bass."

"Pete is what a rock drummer should be. He rides a motorcycle, smokes cigarettes, fishes and drinks beers. All the girls like him. And if anybody looked at me or Melanie the wrong way, he'd push 'em against the wall."

"I get all these weird images in my head that are probably left over from bad dreams. I like to play guitar with the TV on but the sound off. I think a few images from world news leaked into my brain and resurfaced in 'Rosary.'"

"I'm writing ["Waring Street"] from the perspective of a serial killer in the summertime, around the Hancock Park area of L.A. The same way I'm all excited about rock and roll and playing guitar, this guy is excited about killing people. He's really psyched on it, and very cocky. He's good at it. I was thinking, 'How would a serial killer write this song?' He really considers killing an art form. There's beauty in it for him. I love the solo."

"I'm a Yeah Yeah Yeahs fan. I love that song 'Maps.' I was hanging out with Karen O, having dinner with her. I realized that she was torn up over a boy that I know but she also told me how she's crippled by anxiety. And I can relate to that. I get anxiety from time to time but it's a real ball and chain for her. So I'm actually singing 'Unglued' from the perspective of a girl, but it ended up being about anyone who's lost someone and doesn't want that person to go. I was gonna call the song 'The Unanswered Prayers Of Karen O' but then I decided it's more interesting to disguise the inspiration."

"It's ['Feel No Shame'] got that Black Sabbath-meets-ZZ-Top feel, the kind of song you're gonna play in your car while driving down the highway and feeling badass."

"I like playing off opposites. Love and Death. And even though I'm hanging from a noose on the album cover, it's not really about death. Or if it is, it's the death of rock and roll. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club had that song, 'Whatever Happened To My Rock and Roll?' When I heard that I said, 'Yeah! What did happen to it?' I feel a duty to rock and roll. I love the way the vocals turned out. I usually sing very loud but this time I wanted to try a different approach super close to the mic. I don't think I could have been more stoned."

"This album is a story of survival. It's about making it out the other end stronger than you were before. When you believe in something so strongly you have to fight against the odds and the fear and go for it no matter what. And in the end, regardless of whether you get what you want or not, the fact that you reached for it, that will set you free. If I died tomorrow, which I hope I don't, at least I know I have made what I feel is a great record. The kind of rock record you don't hear anymore. So I am free."