Sunday, April 20, 2008
NONE MORE BLACK FOR ME, THANKS
I have tried. Really, I have. In my iPod right now there are albums by Antaeus, Blut Aus Nord, Burzum, Craft, Darkthrone, Deathspell Omega, Dimmu Borgir, Emperor, Glorior Belli, Gorgoroth, Immortal, Marduk, Nachtmystium, Spektr, Thorns and Xasthur. (I own stuff by Cradle of Filth, Leviathan, Mayhem, Watain and others, but they're not currently represented.) But I have at last come to the conclusion that I just don't like black metal anymore. There are a few groups that occasionally come up with something sort of cool - I enjoy Dimmu Borgir's most pomptastic, John Williams-esque moments, and some of Spektr reminds me of a super-creepy version of Main at times - but the big problem with black metal bands, as adventurous as they sometimes are, is that they're scotch-taping a few small innovations on a base of orthodox black metal. Which annoys the living fuck out of me at this point. The shrieking vocals. The ultra-trebley guitars - and the three riffs every band in the genre has agreed to share between them. The one fucking drumbeat (see previous sentence). Oh, and corpse paint is neither scary nor ignorable. It's fucking silly, and it makes every band wearing it look like a goddamn sad clown/pissed-off mime. I can't take it anymore. I need melody and rhythmic intricacy. I need musicians more concerned with what they're playing than their collection of spiked armbands. I need album covers in color. Sorry, black metallers. I'm sure you're very, very serious about what you're doing. But I'm all done.