HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF A STROKE

The new issue of Alternative Press is out, and I contributed more to it than I have to any issue in several years. The editors decided to do capsule write-ups on every single band playing Warped Tour 2010, and I wrote (and sometimes rewrote) 15 of 'em in the course of something like ten days; I blurbed After Midnight Project, American Sixgun, Artist Vs Poet, Brass Tackz, Emmure, Every Time I Die, Eyes Set To Kill, I See Stars, Iwrestledabearonce, The Jukebox Romantics, The Mighty Regis, Parkway Drive, Pierce The Veil, Suicide Silence, and Terrible Things. I've also got reviews of the new albums by A Plea For Purging and The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza, and a review of the new In This Moment disc that's accompanied by an interview with vocalist Maria Brink. It was a busy couple of weeks, but when the check arrives, it'll all have been worth it.

AMG UPDATE

Another two weeks, another nine reviews for All Music Guide:

Foghat, Last Train Home
Kruger, For Death, Glory, and the End of the World
Noctiferia, Death Culture
Parkway Drive, Deep Blue
The Ruins of Beverast, Foulest Semen of a Sheltered Elite
Sabbath Assembly, Restored to One
Witchery, Witchkrieg
Yakuza, Of Seismic Consequence
Dweezil Zappa, Return of the Son of...

Also, one that I submitted, but which didn't run:

JUAN GABRIEL
Juan Gabriel
Fonovisa
Juan Gabriel’s 2010 album, his first since 2003’s Inocente de Ti, couldn’t be more different from that record. Where Inocente was an attempt to modernize his classically gooey pop-balladeer style with alt-rock guitars and radio-ready pop songwriting, Juan Gabriel (as its cover art, with Gabriel perching a sombrero on the back of his head like he’s afraid it’ll muss his hair, should indicate) is a shockingly traditional album almost entirely composed of mariachi songs—trumpets and surging strings are all over this thing. There are some weird touches, of course; on “Por Que Me Haces Llorar?” the string arrangements are more Roy Orbison than Vicente Fernández, and the echo effect on Gabriel’s voice at the end of each chorus is distracting in a sort of awesome way. There’s even a song called “Mariachi,” and it’s as over-the-top as everything else here. Gabriel never sleepwalks through a song—he sells every note, which is exactly what a sobbingly dramatic style like mariachi demands. This is a terrific record slathered in Juan Gabriel’s trademark passion and vocal mastery.

THIS WEEK ON ALTPRESS.COM

CHELSEA GRIN
Desolation of Eden (Artery/Razor & Tie)
Salt Lake City-based six-piece Chelsea Grin have all the deathcore basics down. The galloping, triggered double-bass drums; the pinched squeals of guitar at the end of downtuned riffs; the ultra-low breakdowns; the vocals that alternate gut-churning growls with witchy screeches. That's all superficial, though. What's important is what's uniquely theirs, and that's the feeling of ominous suspense that underpins songs like "False Sense Of Sanity" and the album's title track. The rhythms aren't so much blast beats as tribal throbs, and the riffs come in slow like bombers above an unsuspecting city pre-dawn. The guitar solos aren't spurts of fretboard overstimulation; they're almost the opposite, slow-burning interludes of relative peace not unlike those played by Meshuggah's Fredrik Thordendal (minus the brain-crushing technicality, of course). This is an assured debut by six youngsters with bright futures.

OF MICE & MEN
Of Mice & Men (Rise)
Yes, Of Mice & Men were formed by the former Attack Attack! frontman Austin Carlile. You should keep reading, though; they're nowhere near as awful as that implies. OM&M don't break any new ground--fans of overwrought screaming that leads into piercingly shrill clean vocals, ultra-percussive guitar riffing, and breakdowns every 30 seconds or so will find a slot for this right alongside many similar discs by similar acts. But a few of their attempts to stretch out slightly come off well; the piano at the end of "Second & Sebring," not to mention Carlile's softly crooned vocals that nudge into Coheed And Cambria territory, make it more than a typical screamo riff-display. These guys don't have a damn thing new to say lyrically, and they haven't reinvented (or even re-treaded) the wheel musically, but they're not bad.

The new print edition is out, too, and I've got some stuff in there. In the 100 Bands You Need To Know In 2010 omnibus cover story, I write up Circle of Contempt, Parkway Drive and Stray from the Path; and in the review section, I cover the new discs by Dark Tranquillity and Sigur Rós frontman Jónsi.